Passionfruit vodka. We didn't exactly push the boundaries of culinary gastronomy to get this one across the line. In fact, we stole the recipe directly from the vaults of our extensive childhood trauma. But it's what we did next that counts. Using a proprietary combination of "very fancy machine" and "very expensive flavour", we turned this notorious Teenage Nightmare Juice into a sublime mouthgasm fit for the vanguard of the epicurean elite.

An elevated and refined tropical wunderkind that will have you making out under the bleaches whilst reading a first edition copy of Fyodor Dostoevsky's 1866 classic Crime and Punishment to whatever unfortunate date is never going to call you again you truly miserable, strange person.

Anyway, you can't spell Passionfruit without "passion". But you also can't spell it without "ass". So reconcile that one genius, if that is even your real name.

- Departed Spirits